Gone
by Reader4077
Summary: Kate finally finds her mother's killer, but at what cost?
1. To High a Cost

_A/N_

_You guys are going to hate me. Sorry. __ Lots of angst here, but this story wouldn't leave me alone! I got the inspiration from this from superlc529's story "Habeas Corpses" which is a great story by the way, and you should go read it! __ But first, read this and leave a review! _

"You ready Castle?" Detective Kate Beckett whispered to Castle who was crouched next to her. Behind that door was the city's most ruthless killer. The killer who had ordered the hit on her mother. Castle nodded the fear showing in his eyes. Ryan, Esposito and the rest of the gang were still too far away and they had to go in _now_ before this bastard could escape. Castle softly took the safety off the gun she had given him.

"Ok. We go in on 3. 1…2…" They both readied themselves. "3!" Beckett rose to her feet and kicked the door in and went in with her gun raised, shouting "NYPD! Put your weapons down and your hands in the air!" The only response she got was gunfire.

"Look out!" Castle yelled, and the next thing Kate knew, he had enwrapped her in a huge bear hug and pulled her off to the side, behind some cover. Castle collapsed on top of her as they fell to the floor.

"Castle!" Kate yelled, trying to get out from under him. When she finally succeeded, she was horrified to discover blood oozing from a serious wound in Castle's chest.

"Hang on Castle!" Kat whispered, inwardly pleading with him to be alright. But she had no choice to return to the situation at hand thought, as they were still under fire. Kate poked her head around the corner in order to get a clear show, then fired once. There was an

"Oooph." then silence as the gunfire ceased. Kate turned her attention immediately back to Castle.

"Come on Castle. Don't give up on me now." She pled with him as she applied pressure to his wound.

"Kate?" Castle gasped, his eyes fluttering.

"Shhh… I'm here. You're going to be just fine." She assured him. Damn it, where were Ryan and Esposito?

"Remember…" Castle coughed, gathering his strength. "Remember your promise. Look after Alexis for me." Castle's breathing grew labored.

"Stop it! Don't talk like that! You're going to be fine!" Kate said, desperately wishing for back up to arrive. _NOW._

"Kate." Castle gasped her name out. "Kate." There was a moment's pause as Castle gathered his strength to speak again. "Kate, I love you." And with those final words, Castle's eyes closed.

"NO! Castle! Come on Castle!" Kate checked for a pulse, but there was nothing. "You are _not_ allowed to die on me Castle!" Kate whispered as she removed her hand from Castle's hand to start CPR.

"Come on!" she pled again, as she started giving him mouth to mouth. Still nothing. "I love you too. Please don't leave me." Finally Kate sat back against the wall, and curled up, starting to cry. She buried her face in her bloody hands, not caring. Richard Castle was gone.

_A/N_

_Sorry if Kate sounds a bit off. I was having troubles getting her to sound right. Feel free to make suggestions!_


	2. Shattered

That's how Ryan and Esposito found her, 10 minutes later when they burst through the door. They took in the sight of Castle on the ground, not moving with a bad chest wound and Kate sitting against the wall next to him, her hair a mess, tears running down her face and blood on her hands that she seemed to be staring at. Kate didn't even register their presence.

"Go call this in." Esposito whispered to Ryan. Ryan didn't move, just stood there staring, seemingly frozen into place. Esposito placed a hand on his shoulder, "Kevin." He said softly. Ryan jumped a bit, then looked over at him.

"Go call this in. I'll take care of Beckett." Ryan just nodded, then silently left the room. Esposito walked over to Kate.

"Beckett?" He asked softly, crouching down in front of her. She didn't appear to be wounded, but there was no response.

"Kate?" he tried again. Kate slowly lifted her head to look at him, tears cascading down her cheeks.

"Are you hurt?" Kate shook her head in a silent 'No.' Esposito leaned over to check for Castle's pulse. His fears were confirmed – Castle was dead.

"Where's…?" Esposito trailed of, but Kate knew what he meant. The man who had twice taken away everything she had ever cared about. First her mother and now, Castle.

"Over there." She whispered, her voice rough with tears, and a nod around the corner. Esposito drew his gun and peeked around the corner. He crept around silently with his gun raised, and almost tripped over the body. He was dead. Bullet hole straight through the heart. He would have died instantly. Esposito nudged him with his foot, then leant in to check his pulse, just to make sure. He was definitely dead. Esposito barely kept himself from spitting on the bastard, then walked back to where Kate was sitting. She hadn't moved.

"Kate?" There wasn't any response. Esposito tensed as he heard footsteps pounding up the stairs and reached for his gun, but relaxed when Ryan poked his head in the door.

"EMTs are on their way." Esposito just shook his head at him.

"He's dead." Ryan just stood there for a moment, then glanced at Kate.

"Is she…"

"Nah man, she's fine as far as I can tell. Physically at least. Our man's out in the kitchen with a bullet in his chest. I'm guessing she put it there." Ryan nodded then crouched down next to Esposito.

"Beckett?" There was silence in the apartment.

"Kate?" Still nothing. Ryan and Esposito glanced at each other. This couldn't be good.

_A/N_

_If you didn't know, Kevin is Ryan's first name. _


	3. Too late

_About a week later…_

The 12th Precinct was eerily quiet. No one wanted to break the silence. Ryan and Esposito were softly talking to Captain Montgomery and Kate was sitting in the break room, clutching a cup of coffee, but not drinking. She had washed the blood off her hands, but she still seemed to staring at them. She avoided the sympathetic glances of the other cops. She couldn't handle it right now. She had finally caught her mother's killer, but at too high a cost. Kate buried her face in her hands, the tears starting again. Suddenly, the silence was broken by the ding of the elevator, and everyone looked up. Exiting the elevator was Alexis Castle, grim faced with tear stains on her cheeks.

"Alexis…" Kate whispered from the door of the break room. Alexis saw her and came over to her and they embraced. When they finally released each other, they retreated into the break room, and Kate shut the door.

"I'm so sorry, Alexis." Kate whispered. "This is all my fault. I should have waited for backup…"

"Don't blame yourself Kate. Dad wouldn't have wanted it. He wanted to catch this guy as much as you. He didn't like you hurting." Kate sniffed again.

"I know, but I can't help but think there was something I should have done! He was my responsibility and I failed him. I failed you."

"You didn't. Dad knew the risks, but he chose to take them anyways. This wasn't your fault!"

"He died to save me." Kate finally admitted after a few moments silence. "He pulled me out of the way. If I had been paying better attention…"

"Kate, Dad would have never forgiven himself if anything had ever happened to you. There's no way you could have known. Stop beating yourself up." The two women sat there in silence for a moment, each lost in their own memories of Rick Castle.

"You should know his last thoughts were of you." Kate finally said. Alexis looked up at her, tears starting afresh. "He…he reminded me of my promise that I'd look after you if anything ever happened to him. And I want you to know that I'm going to be there for you if you'll let me. No child should have to lose a parent. Trust me I know." Alexis gave her a small smile.

"He…" Kate hesitated sharing this last bit with Alexis, but she figured she deserved to know. "He told me that he loved me. And…I loved him." At that, Alexis looked up at her, and into Kate's eyes.

"I know. I just wish…" Alexis trailed off. Kate nodded.

"Me too Alexis. Me too.

_A/N_

_*Sniff* Sorry to make you cry. But please grab a tissue and leave me review! __ (And thanks to Marine-CO for the advice!)_


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